His and Hers
by Aubrianna
Summary: Lily Evans didn't always hate James Potter, indeed, there was a time when she had fallen to his charms. Of course, once bitten, twice as shy and they do say that hell hath no fury like a woman scorned... LilyJames
1. Flammable

_Author's note (I): This is my like one-hundredth re-writing of this damn plot bunny who has been plaguing me night and day for at least a month now; finally, I think I've got it almost right! (Hallelujah) If you want to keep up-to-date with it completely, chapters will be posted on my site (see 'Homepage') probably before and I might start keeping a diary...! Anyway, read and enjoy._

Disclaimer: I own none of the following, regrettably. I just enjoy playing with them

**His and Hers**

Flammable

_You will fly and you will crawl  
God knows even angels fall_

_-- Even Angels Fall, Jessica Riddle_

"Potter, if I was stuck under a fallen tree with only you for company, I'd gnaw my own body part off before I'd ask you to help me."

"What about if you were about to die, and I was the last person you'd ever see?"

"Then my last words would be 'Get away from me, Potter'," she snapped in reply, tucking coppery strands angrily behind her ear.

James grinned, enjoying getting her worked up. "Oh, come on Evans, I can't be _that_ bad?"

"There are very few things that have endeared you to me, Potter, over the last seven years, and your wisecracking is not one of them. Just for goodness sake stop being such a prick!" With a parting glare she turned on her heel and left the common room in a flurry of red hair and fury.

James raised an eyebrow thoughtfully. She was beautiful when she was angry and he loved to argue, but he knew he shouldn't wind her up.

"You shouldn't torment her," said a voice behind him, an implied sigh following it.

"I know, Moony. But she's just so… flammable."

Remus moved into his line of vision: "You'll only get burned."

James made a non-committal noise in is throat, moving his hands restlessly through his dark hair. "It wasn't always this way," he said to no-one in particular.

His mind, unbidden, cast itself back to the beginning... to when the whole ordeal began...

_**September 1**__**st**__** 1975**_

James had managed to sneak a dry-start firework into Sirius' trunk pocket, where he kept his underwear. Him and his two friends were in the third carriage of the Hogwarts Express and waiting impatiently, both for the train to depart and for Sirius to return. James winked slyly at his two compatriots, Remus and Peter. Peter was snickering behind his hand, and even Remus looked faintly amused and interested to see the outcome of the firework.

The mischievous Gryffindor cocked his ear, hearing the familiar footsteps of his best friend in the hallway. Although, it sounded like he wasn't alone, James strained his ear to hear who he was talking to:

"Ok, Evans, I'll let him know." There was a reply which James couldn't hear to which Sirius replied: "Yeah, okay. I'll tell him that too."

Sirius rounded the door and entered their compartment. He slumped on the seats opposite James, looking quite exhausted.

"Lily Evans wants me to tell you," he indicated Remus; "the prefect meeting will be held in half an hour in the front carriage."

"Right," said Remus shyly, ignoring James' incredulous look. "Is she a prefect too, then?"

"No, head girl told her to tell you or something," he shrugged uncaringly, the dark shadows beneath his eyes apparent for all to see.

James frowned. "You ok Sirius? You look knackered."

"Surviving," he muttered. The other three continued to study him, but thought better of it.

"Exploding snap, anyone?" Peter asked, hopefully, taking out a tattered deck.

The vague tension decreased as the three friends, and eventually Sirius as well, played an increasingly competitive game of exploding snap.

"_Snap_!" shouted Sirius jumping up and slamming his hand down onto the top of the teetering pile of cards. They promptly exploded, sending sparks in all directions. "I win!" he announced triumphantly.

James slouched back, defeated, into the train seat, but gave a start as there was a small explosion near his feet. A wayward spark had landed on Sirius' trunk and, coincidentally, ignited the dormant firework.

A pile of boxers whizzed unpredictably around the carriage and then out through the door, which had been slightly ajar, and into the corridor, where it exploded into a miniature shower of underwear all over the unlucky person walking past.

James and Peter cracked up in hysterics; Sirius looked dumbstruck from his trunk and out into the underwear covering the hallway, before cracking a grin at James; and Remus smirked, surveying the damage.

Lily Evans stood, glowering, in the door frame. "Who do these belong to?" she asked, holding a pair of boxers, distastefully, at arm's length.

Sirius grinned, pointing at James. Lily stared hard at him, dropping the boxers immediately. "Nice. Well they're all in the hallway; you'd better pick them up," she rolled her eyes skyward and stalked off down the corridor.

James glared at Sirius, though a small smile tugged at the side of his lips. "_Thanks_," he enunciated.

"Pleasure," chirped his best friend, getting up and going to collect his scattered underwear. "Not often I get a girl in my boxers before term even starts," he quipped.

"So, you still thinking of Lily like that then?" Peter asked conversationally, having not missed the look on James' face when Lily had entered. He was referring, of course, to James' declaration at the end of fourth year of his attraction to a certain Miss Evans.

"Well," replied James, blustering a little, "she certainly has her assets; pretty, clever, fun… but I don't know if maybe she might be a bit difficult."

"What do you mean?"

The messy-haired Gryffindor looked at Remus. "Just that she's quite hard to please and, if you haven't noticed, she doesn't like me all that much!"

"Scared of a challenge?" Sirius taunted, having collected his strewn underwear. "I thought you said you could get any girl?"

James bristled; "I probably could get her, that's not what I'm wondering about, it's whether she'll be worth getting."

"James, you've had an almost endless string of girlfriends since we were thirteen; what did you look for in each of them?" Peter pulled out a bag of Bertie Botts Every Flavour Bean and began munching.

"Well… most of them have always tried to get _me,_" James pondered. "And they've all been pretty easygoing."

"Easy come, easy go," Remus supplied, looking slightly disapproving.

James shrugged; "What's your point?"

"Just that, maybe, now we're in Fifth year, you should be looking for a slightly more serious relationship?"

Sirius chortled out loud: "We're fifteen, Remus, not _fifty_, and unfortunately the rest of us aren't as responsible as our dear prefect."

The light-haired boy shrugged, not willing to trade retorts with Sirius. "All I'm saying is that you've got that glint in your eye, James, the one where you've seen something you want. Just try not to let her be like all the others, because she's in our house, and our year, and things could be pretty awkward if you screw it up."

James nodded an ascent that he had heard Remus, though it was uncertain whether the warning would be heeded. Remus shrugged again; "I'm going to the Prefects meeting now, so I'll catch you all in about an hour or so."

The three remaining boys snickered as he left; Remus, a prefect? They couldn't work out if it was more of a travesty to Hogwarts School or to the Marauders themselves!

--

Lily sat relaxed in her compartment, chatting amiably with her friends, unaware that she had become the latest in a long line of targets for one James Potter. Her mind passed only briefly over him and his friends, before moving on to more pressing topics, such as schoolwork, the latest witches in the hit parade and the good company her friends provided for her.

_A/N (II) Thanks for reading, please review if you liked... or in fact even if you didn't; concrit is always welcome. (And reviews are oh-such-a motivation to get the next chapter out... :) )_


	2. Part I The Consequences of Underwear

**Beginning of Part (I)**

Chapter One: The Consequences of Underwear

_It's not always easy as life can be deceiving,_

_I'll tell you one thing it's always better when we're together._

_-- Jack Johnson; Better Together_

Lily's friends were still laughing at her expense by the time they got back to the castle.

"It's not like you to get into someone's boxers before term even starts, especially James Potter's!" Violet teased her, deftly ducking Lily's half-hearted swat.

"It was nasty, okay?" Lily replied in a dignified manner. "They might not even have been clean…!"

Her three friends burst out laughing again at the look of anxiety on her face.

"You'll be the first person to die of James-Potter-itis," Charlotte said melodramatically. "Whatever would we tell Madam Pomfrey?"

"Or your parents for that matter?" her other friend, Lizzy, added, grinning maniacally.

"Oh look, it looks like Dumbledore is about to start his speech," Lily intervened, adding a mental '_please'_ onto the end.

"Fine we'll change the subject," Charlotte smiled, giving her best friend a light hug.

The four girls sat in the middle of the Gryffindor table, quite oblivious to the people around them, fixed only on each other. They had been best friends since that unsteady first year where magic had been a whole new thing for Violet and Lily. They were as similar in temperament as they were different in looks, and rarely fell out with each other over anything.

Lily often looked at her three friends in a state of awe; she never dreamed that she'd find people who seemed to understand her so completely and who would accept her just as she was. Apart from Snape, of course, she strained her neck imperceptibly, seeking him out at the Slytherin table. She found him easily, he sat amongst the other Slytherins but there was always an air that set him apart. He caught Lily's eye and bestowed a rare smirk upon her, she smiled back, knowing that, in the course of time, they would catch up with each other.

Lily's acceptance at Hogwarts had come as quite a shock after the harmless curiosity, but general lack of understanding, of her parents and the jealousy and bitterness of her sister.

"Hey, Lily, Potter's looking over here; maybe he's missing a pair of boxers?" Violet said breaking her reverie.

Lily scowled at her dark-haired friend. "I thought you were going to drop it?" Though she still snuck a look in the direction of the four Gryffindor boys, and saw the Violet was right.

"Oh, we were?" the dark-skinned girl asked, feigning disappointment. "Well what shall we talk about instead?"

This question remained unanswered, however, as Dumbledore stood and waited for silence so he could address the Hall, "Welcome to another year at Hogwarts! A warm welcome to all our new First Years, who will go with the nice students wearing prefect badges as they leave the hall so they can find their way to their new homes."

Lily suddenly remembered her titbit of gossip. Leaning close to the other girls, she whispered, "Remus Lupin was made a prefect this year, did you know?"

Violet nodded - she always seemed to know everything. But Charlotte and Lizzy looked quite surprised.

"Really?" Charlotte pondered, "But he's part of, well you know, _that_ group." By which she meant the mischievous rule-breakers James Potter, Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew.

"Dumbledore wouldn't have chosen him if he hadn't thought he was suitable though," Lizzy said confidently. "Maybe he thought that Lupin would keep the other three in line?"

"Like that would happen," Violet laughed.

"Poor Lupin," Lily agreed. "Stuck in the middle of rule-breaking and Hogwarts."

The students on either side of the four girls shushed them impatiently and, rolling her eyes at the other three, Lily tuned back into Dumbledore's speech.

"The older year have heard these warnings before, but for those who only have selective memories," his x-ray gaze fell decisively upon James Potter and Sirius Black, "the Forbidden Forest is out of bounds to all students, the Astronomy Tower is not to be used as a social rendezvous point and students are only allowed into Hogsmeade on the designated trip days, any students found straying from these guidelines will be given detention.

"That is all, enjoy the feast!" The wizened wizard clapped his hands twice and food blossomed down all the tables, igniting a collective intake of breath from the star-struck first years.

Violet grinned at Lily. "See Evans, I was right! He says people '_found_ straying'; he doesn't say don't do it, he just says don't get _caught_ doing it."

"I think," Lily replied dryly, "that that is the loophole Black and Potter have been exploiting for years."

Lizzy waved sweetly at someone at the end of the table. "Potter was looking this way again," she explained to Lily's questioning look.

Charlotte looked thoughtful, twirling a lock of blonde hair between her fingertips, "I think James Potter may have his sights set on someone within our group," she said, slowly.

"Batter down the hatches, Lily," Violet smirked, cocking an eyebrow. "Who better than the proud recipient of all his underwear?"

Lily scowled.

--

The first week of classes seemed to stretch on forever as it often does. The students were all making the somewhat awkward transition from doing absolutely nothing to suddenly being inundated with homework.

The fifth years were no different; every teacher suddenly had their sights set on the – what they perceived as fast approaching – OWLs. And the students were accordingly loaded up with enough work to make even Lily pale with disbelief.

"Are they trying to kill us before we even start?" Lizzy asked plaintively that Wednesday evening in the Common Room. "You know; weed out the weak ones and kill them off before the exams get here." She fiercely stuffed wayward strands of brown hair into her messy bun, as though they were the cause of all her problems.

Lily smiled sympathetically. "What are you stuck on?"

"Potions. As usual." Lizzy grumped, throwing a death glare at an offending first year who had accidentally wandered into her path.

The redhead pulled the work across to her, barely looking up as Violet and Charlotte plonked their stuff down at the table as well, both simultaneously collapsing into adjacent seats. "Now you see, it wouldn't work, because the fawnhag root would completely counteract the Brazilian adder tongue and your person wouldn't become smaller or larger… they would just be very ill."

Lizzy pulled the work back. "Damn I hate it when you're right," she muttered, scribbling various crossings-out on her previously neat piece of parchment.

Lily smiled and looked at Violet and Charlotte. "Good Divination lesson?"

"Professor Morentine is a total fake," Charlotte told her derisively. "I don't know why I chose this ridiculous subject for OWLs, I would have found more integrity if I took an intensive course in Ministry Politics."

"And that's saying something," the dark-haired girl agreed. "Quite a good lesson to sleep through though. I catch up on all the hours I spend in this common room doing all this homework."

"Of course, she gave us a ton of homework." Charlotte dumped a stack of parchment irritably in front of her.

There was a glum silence that followed as Lizzy scribbled quickly away and Charlotte and Violet surveyed their piles of homework with distaste.

Lily was about to suggest a homework break in the form of exploding snap when two boys slumped down on the other side of the table. Two more followed and Lily found herself staring indiscernibly at Gryffindor's troublemaking quartet themselves.

There was silence again, though this time it was certainly not glum.

"Are you lost?" Violet asked sweetly from behind her stack of Divination homework.

Potter spoke first, "Of course not, we thought we'd spent a little time with Gryffindor's fairer sex. Do you mind?" he gestured to the four places that they'd already occupied.

"Apparently not," Lily replied dryly.

Aside from having most of their lessons with the four boys, they had never spent much time with them outside of classes – unless Quidditch matches counted – and certainly never to study together or anything. In truth the girls felt that this was not a friendship they were missing out on; James Potter and Sirius Black had a bad reputation about the Hogwarts female population and the only one of the group who Lily spoke to on any occasion that could be called regular was Remus Lupin, although that only tended to be in Ancient Runes classes.

Really, the differences between the two groups were that Lily and her friends did not crave publicity or, indeed, a following who worshipped their every move, they were more than content in each other and sought nothing more that their own approval or advice. The boys, on the other hand, seemed bent on being infamous amongst the Hogwarts population, and had really never bothered to spend time with the pretty low-profile girls in their year.

Of course, that was until James Potter had spotted something he wanted.

"What a load of balls that Divination lesson was, eh?" Black said, breaking the awkward silence which had fallen.

Not wanting to be impolite and hating the awkwardness, Charlotte caught it like a lifeline, "Yes, she's such a fake isn't she? I doubt she could see a frog in a tadpole – instead it would be in 'grave danger'. The old bat is on her last legs anyway, if you ask me."

Potter snorted in appreciation, and the atmosphere relaxed a little.

Lily appealed to Remus to help with the translation of Ancient Aztec Runes that they'd been set for homework, and they moved next to one another to complete the work together which took half the time it would otherwise have done. The redhead didn't miss the knowing looks and winks that her three friends kept passing in her direction but ignored them as best she could.

What she found harder to ignore was the practically scorching looks that James Potter – of all people – kept giving her. At first she thought she must be imagining things, but as the evening wore on it became evident that he seemed to have eyes for no-one but her.

About half way through, Sirius made an allusion to low-flying underwear and Lily's unfortunate 'luck' on the train, which was seized by the other five members of the table with relish.

"You didn't pocket any did you, Evans?" Pettigrew asked with a wicked smile.

"No - " Lily began but was cut off by Lizzy;

"Why would she want boxers? I suppose she could have held them to ransom, and then James would have been in a bit of a pickle!"

"Perhaps he _meant_ for them to find Lily," Violet crowed, delightedly noticing James' slightly red face.

"Of course he did," grinned Sirius, winking cheerfully at James who Lily noticed, had blushed almost as much as her.

"I think I might go to bed," Lily and James said coincidentally at exactly the same time. They both blushed more as their six friends jumped onto this new development.

"Oh this has gone further than we thought?" Remus exclaimed innocently, Lily went to whack him but missed.

Lizzy and Charlotte grinned at her affectionately and the redhead suddenly realised that she hadn't had this much fun for ages even though it was at her expense.

Feeling it was time to bow out though, before things elevated anymore, she began to gather her belongings. "I really _am_ going to go to bed," she announced. "But that is nowhere near Potter's bed," she had to raise her voice over the round of catcalls and 'oohs'.

"We'll come too, Lils," Charlotte said; her and Lizzy quickly packing up their things.

"Night all," the redhead said to the boys, glad that they'd come to sit with them that evening. She didn't miss the wink that Violet gave Sirius on the way out however.

Biting her tongue all the way to the dormitory, when they were safely inside, the girls all collapsed on their beds.

Lily called Violet on the wink, laughing at her surprised expression; she thought everyone had missed it.

"Well, he's not bad looking is he?" the dark girl replied, "I mean, arrogant and self-assured, but not bad-looking."

"You have a boyfriend!" Lizzy exclaimed, propping herself up on her elbows. She was referring to Gerard Parker, a Ravenclaw sixth year who Violet had been with since a couple of months before the end of fourth year.

"Well… sort of," Violet agreed. "On and off."

Charlotte rolled her eyes, deftly putting her blonde hair into two plaits. "Vi, you can't have two on and off boyfriends."

"It was only a wink," the exasperation in Violet's tone warned them to drop it.

"It was a fun study session," Lily observed to general agreement. "I wonder if we'll have to wait another five years for them to talk to us again?"

"I don't think so," Charlotte replied knowingly. "I think Potter is plotting."

At Lily's blank look, Lizzy nodded in agreement, "Yeah, I'd stake my cauldron set on him liking you Lils."

"You'd stake your cauldron set on anything," Violet called laughingly. "You're awful at Potions!"

"Hey," the brunette protested, throwing a cushion at Violet's head. "It was a very expensive cauldron set."

A full out pillow fight erupted, in which Lily and Charlotte joined in, just for the fun of it. The giggles and shrieks echoed through Gryffindor tower until they eventually collapsed later in exhaustion with no clear winner but a lot of wayward feathers.

Lily crawled into bed that night feeling worn-out but exhilarated and happy; everything seemed to be going right for her at that moment in time and she felt wonderfully content.

A/N Please R&R!!


	3. Prince Charming

Disclaimer: Not mine

**Chapter Two: Prince Charming**

_You want a part of me; well I'm not selling cheap._

_-- Hole; Celebrity Skin_

Much to Sirius' amusement, James was getting more and more frustrated. The first few weeks of term had blurred together and, abruptly, the students had found themselves in October and the sudden throes of driving autumnal wind and rain.

And _still_ Lily wasn't reacting to his advances. He'd tried every trick in the book; complimented her, talked to her, all but _stuck_ to her side since basically the beginning of term but every time they 'accidentally' ended up alone together she always had somewhere else that she needed to be; it was infuriating!!

As a result of his continued attentions, the two groups seemed to barely have left each other's company, and the boys – although none of them specifically verbalised it – were quite happy with this arrangement. The four girls were good company, amusing, sharp and not remotely scared of the boys and their seemingly endless list of dastardly plans and pranks.

It had been quite refreshing for James and Sirius to be with girls who weren't in awe of their Hogwarts personas and virtual celebrity status and it was good for Remus and Peter to have what they called 'sensible people to talk to'. None of them stopped to think of how the girls thought of them; they assumed that they were appreciative to be blessed with their presence.

"Honestly! I don't know what more I can do!" James exclaimed to his three best friends that on a particularly cold evening, after a bitter Quidditch practise, were ensconced in the fifth boys dormitory. He was wrapped in his winter cloak with a warming charm on it and yet he was still cold.

"What do you mean 'what more' you can do?" Sirius asked.

"Well I've paid her lots of attention and… complimented her a lot. That's what girls like don't they?"

"And you're only _James Potter_," Peter followed, with heavy mock-awe in his voice.

"James, I think you're looking at this from a very shallow point of view," Remus said reasonably. "She's not 'girls', she's Lily Evans; _one_ girl."

"Well if you know her so well, then what else should I do?" James snapped, referring to the amount of time Remus spent in Lily's company doing Ancient Runes homework.

The light-haired boy coloured slightly, but held his friend's fierce gaze. "Try talking _to_ her, not at her. Listen to what she has to say."

Sirius lay on his back, throwing a snitch absently up and down in the air. "Remus, for someone who has never had a girlfriend, you seem to know an awful lot about girls."

"Maybe you actually _are_ a girl?" Peter said, pretending to ponder it seriously.

"Thank you, Pettigrew," replied Remus, rolling his eyes.

"'Listen to what she has to say'… what if what she has to say is boring?" James messed up his hair absently and then caught sight of himself in the mirror and quickly tried to flatten it down.

"Have you listened to Evans at all?" the round-faced boy asked. "She's got a great sense of humour."

James fixed Peter with an inscrutable look, and the boy shifted uncomfortably beneath his gaze.

"Fine… so plan B is 'listen to her'. What if that fails?"

Peter shrugged, James turned to Remus, who shrugged as well; Sirius also had a what-the-hell-do-I-know face on.

"You try harder," Remus suggested.

"What are you going to do if you actually get her?" Sirius asked, his upside-down features still clearly displaying the fact that he thought this was an unlikely prospect.

Choosing to ignore his friend's scepticism, James thought about the question. "Don't know; figured things would just work out."

"You're not actually a 'relationship' person though, are you? So… you're only in it for the chase?" Remus asked, disapproval slipping into his tone. "That's not always the best reason to go after someone, especially someone in our house."

James shrugged. "In his defence," intervened Sirius, "the chase is actually the best part of any relationship."

The messy-haired boy nodded in agreement just as Remus and Peter shook their heads. "Having someone to share everything with is the best part of a relationship," the mousy-haired boy argued.

"For me, sex," Peter added mock-sombrely, igniting a round of guffaws from the other boys. Remus cracked a reluctant grin, feeling the conversation being steered in a familiar direction that many of the boys' conversations often went down.

--

October stretched on and the amount of homework was becoming unbearable, although it was eased slightly by the continued contact with the four Gryffindor girls, all of whom were reasonably smart and whose strengths lay in different areas and when the girls and boys bounced ideas off each other they often found that their work was of a much higher standard, with more discerning arguments and persuasive drifts.

This did not escape the teacher's notice, and they watched with interest as the little group of Gryffindor fifth years continued to get closer and their work also continued to improve.

James sat beside Sirius at one of their – now frequent – girl study sessions, Lily sat, by design, on his other side and he was alternating between paying attention to her and to watching his best friend.

Sirius was studying the little dark girl, Violet, on the other side of the table. In fact, he had been gazing at her for the better part of an hour and James thought it was about time he stopped him before his friend started making a fool of himself or he started dribbling.

Picking up a transfiguration book as a facade, he nudged Sirius to gain his attention.

Pointing vaguely to a random line in the textbook, he muttered, "You like her, stop drooling."

Sirius quickly and self-consciously wiped his chin, but found it was dry. Fixing his best friend with a famous Black scowl, he replied "What? She's pretty."

"She has a boyfriend," James told him, randomly turning the page.

"Really?" Sirius asked, a surprised undertone. "House, year?"

"Ravenclaw, sixth. Gerard Parker."

"I know, tall guy; rather contemptuous."

"That's him," James agreed. "Still like her?"

"She's cool, and she calls me on it when I'm wrong, and she's not afraid to tease anyone. Yeah, I like her. Just need to get rid of her boyfriend…"

James studied him. "I don't do Unforgivables."

His best friend smirked. "I doubt it will come to that."

"What are you two muttering about?" Violet asked, cutting through their private chat.

"Transfiguration," James said brightly, turning, the book around to face her.

"That's second year work," Lily observed, noticing a hint of a blush on Sirius' face.

"We're… revising," he replied, smiling winningly.

"Ooookay then."

Lizzy and Charlotte studied them both, a knowing look passed quickly between them and Lily. James frowned… how did girls manage to cotton onto every little slip-up that they made and put two and two together and _always_ come to the correct conclusion? He scowled at the Charms work in front of him and, since Sirius had gone back to staring at Violet, he sought something more interesting to do.

He took to looking at the girls, surprised again at just how pretty Lily Evans actually was. Charlotte was quite pretty too, he thought. Not the same startling look that Lily had in her bright green eyes and dark red hair, or even the charisma that Violet had in her white, bright smile that brought out her dark eyes and coffee-coloured skin, but it was a quiet prettiness; gentle blue eyes and a delicate mouth, framed by sheets of blonde hair. Lizzy was, in his opinion, the least pretty of the group, with a dull auburn tint to her hair and brown eyes, but she had a ready smile and an easy wit that rubbed along well with all the other members of the group.

He broke himself out of watching the girls and turned his attention back to his charms homework that really _needed_ to be done by tomorrow. For the life of him though he couldn't remember why a Patronus linked to an individual's Animagi form.

Lily small hand fell across his work and pointed to the Patronus depicted in the picture. "It's because a Patronus is conjured from the happiest place in a person's memory and it is this good feeling that serves as their _mental_ defender against Dementors and stuff, an Animagi is the same form conjured from the same place, only it serves as a wizard's _physical_ defender against bad things. It's always the same animal."

James felt not only his gaze, but Peter, Remus and Sirius' looks boring into Lily. This was the missing piece in their continued attempts to become Animagi; they'd come so far, but had fallen at the last hurdle and hadn't been able to work out what they'd been doing wrong. And to think the answer had been right in front of them; in one of their _textbooks_, James felt a little sheepish.

"So," started Sirius. "A wizard in Animagi form would be able to resist Dementors and stuff?"

"Well," said Lily, considering the question thoughtfully, twirling a strand of dark hair between her fingers. "It wouldn't be _exactly_ the same as a Patronus as, obviously, you are projecting a Patronus whereas you are actually _in_ the body of an Animagi, but the pull of a Dementor would probably be much reduced and you certainly wouldn't be able to be Kissed in Animagi form because the Dementors wouldn't be able to sense you."

Sirius nodded in response, he and James exchanged knowing looks with Peter and Sirius. Now they knew what they'd been missing; becoming an Animagi was similar to creating a Patronus, they needed to concentrate on the _happiness_ more.

"It takes years to become an Animagi though, doesn't it?" Charlotte asked no-one in particular, her eyes studying the boys thoughtfully.

"Oh yes," Lily agreed. "Years and years; some people have died trying to become animals," she pulled a face, "there's only a few on the register of Animagi; Professor McGonagall is one – she's a cat."

"Lily, how do you always seem to know things?" Lizzy asked in faint exasperation. "Honestly, it's like you swallow books in your spare time. I never thought I'd end up with a bookworm as a best friend." The brunette stuck her tongue out at Lily, who pulled a face back at her.

James watched them impassively, his mind already racing with what needed to be done; they were _so_ close. Lupin's next full moon was a week away… if they could get it sorted for then, then they'd be able to follow him into the forest. Something they'd been trying to do for so long.

Sirius must have been clearly thinking along the same lines because he feigned a yawn, stretching out dramatically. "Well, I'm shattered," he announced. "Think I might head to bed." He gave the other boys knowing looks.

Violet frowned. "It's only half nine," she replied, trying, and failing, to keep the protest out of her voice.

"Big day, tomorrow," James said, in way of an explanation also packing his things up.

"…it's Thursday."

"Yes, all this homework due!" Peter too stood up and waved the wad of parchment with a somewhat maniacal air. He dragged Remus up to standing.

"Night, girls," Sirius chirped, the excitement in his voice igniting James' own excitement.

They all but dragged Remus up to the boys dormitory and Sirius locked the door behind them.

"Right then," said James, getting straight down to business. "A Patronus eh? What actually _is_ my Patronus?" He took his wand out, as the other two boys did the same. Remus sat on one of the beds and watched them with an inscrutable expression. James thought he detected worry in his look.

"_Muffliato,_" he muttered at the door; that would stop them from being overheard. "_Expecto Patronum!"_ Conjuring his happiest memory, a silver shape burst out of his wand. A full grown stag cantered easily around the room before coming to rest in front of James. It seemed to sense no danger so began to graze from invisible grass.

He smirked, turning his gaze to Sirius. His best friend screwed his eyes up tightly in concentration and exclaimed, "_Expecto Patronum!"_ A great shaggy dog burst from the tip of his wand, and bounded through the room, greeting James' stag like an old friend. It too sensed no danger, so curled up at Sirius' feet.

Peter was the last, and already ready with his happy memory. A much smaller shape exploded from his wand and scurried quickly about the dormitory. A rat finally came to rest at Peter's feet, looking furtively from side to side.

"Not exactly going to win any fights, am I?" Peter said, always seeming a little disappointed at his small Patronus.

"No, this is _good_," James exclaimed excitedly. "We'd need something small to go in and press the knot of the Whomping Willow, because we won't have our wands will we?"

Remus looked into the excited faces of his best friends. "You're really going to do this then?"

"Of course!" Sirius exclaimed, clapping a hand on his friend's shoulder. "Marauder's stick together right?"

Remus' tremulous smile conveyed all the gratitude in the world.

A/N If you liked, please R&R!


	4. Only a Kiss

Disclaimer: Not mine

_Author's Note: Thank you to everyone who has reviewed so far: it has been very motivational! A few words to one of my reviewers, however, who unfortunately didn't sign in so I shall have to defend myself in an A/N instead. This is also relevant to readers who have got this far and are thinking 'The canon characters seem quite OOC?'; well, this story is going to be rather __long; this is only fifth year by the time it gets to the end they will have finished seventh year, this means that the characters we start with at the beginning are going to change. What we are used to in canon are the __finished articles of their characters, though here they are only fifteen – they still have a long way to go and a lot of lessons to learn that will, ultimately, mould them into the characters we know and love._

_I'm afraid things are going to get worse for Lily and James before they get better, if you don't think you can handle that, then by all mean wait until I start posting Part (II). However, for people wishing to read the back-story and understand why it took Lily and James so long to finally get together, please continue. (Also, if anyone has issues with the story could they please sign in next time, to save me from writing an essay at the top of the next chapter.)_

**Chapter Three: Only A Kiss**

_Between the sand and stone,_

_Could you make it on your own?_

_-- The Calling; Wherever You Will Go_

The myriad of autumnal colours gradually depleted day by day, leaving the trees listless and bare. Lily stared regularly out of the window, loving the change in seasons, even if it meant that they would be confined to the castle for the better part of the next three months. The winter that far north had a tendency to be bitter and relentless, having a particular type of weather that was both rain and wind and, if a student had the misfortune to be caught in it, felt like cold nails being continuously thrown in one's face.

Things in the Gryffindor common were merry and bright, however, and the first years were still overwhelmed from the recently passed Halloween, which had been as lively and atmospheric as usual.

Lily sat with Charlotte near the fire, taking a break from the homework piled next to their sofa. It was a rare moment when the two of them were together and they sat in comfortable silence, Lily playing idly with her friend's soft golden hair. Lizzy was at Quidditch practise and Violet has off somewhere with her boyfriend, Gerard.

"Lottie," she asked, using her term of endearment for her friend, "what do _you_ think of James Potter and all his bluster?"

The blonde hesitated, enjoying the sensation of Lily's fingers running through her hair. "He's a player," she said, at last. "He likes you, for sure, but how long do you think that'll last?"

"I don't know," she admitted, trusting her friend's honesty. "Do you think I should give it a go anyway?"

"Well, I shouldn't think that he will give up until either you give in or you come up with a _very_ good reason as to why you can't."

"I barely know him though," Lily protested. "How can I be with someone I barely know?"

Charlotte smiled affectionately at her friend's anxiety. "He's a boy and you're very pretty. I think that for him, knowing you barely comes into it."

"So you think I should hold out a bit longer and hope he gives up?"

"It's an opportunity though, it might not come again. I think you should go with him for a bit, have some fun, but _please_ don't get hurt Lilsa."

Lily smiled at her friend's use of her informal name, used only by her three best friends. It felt nice to have someone know you well enough to nickname you. She thought about what Charlotte had said… she didn't know whether she could be with someone and _not_ be emotionally attached, she expressed as much.

"But if you don't go, then you'll never know," the blonde Gryffindor answered, knowing that Lily's mind was all but made up now anyway and further conversation was just exploring the various avenues.

"And it could be something good," Lily echoed, biting her lip. She thought she might go for it.

There was a peaceful silence for a bit broken only by the crackling of the fire.

"The boys have been acting a little oddly recently, haven't they?" Charlotte said, breaking Lily's reverie.

It was true; they hadn't been at the Halloween feast, always seemed to be having mysterious chats and had not studied with the girls for days. "I know," Lily agreed. "Every time I seem to see Remus Lupin these days, he always looks deathly pale and ill."

"Lilsa," her friend started, curiosity evident in her tone. "Do you, y'know, _like_ Remus Lupin a little?"

The redhead coloured in the firelight, but was sure it was indiscernible. "Perhaps," she said slowly, "but just because he's such a nice guy and really smart. Nothing would ever happen though because he's so loyal to James and stuff."

Charlotte nodded in agreement, though Lily couldn't quite work out the expression on her face.

--

Walking back from Charms the next day, Lily was graced with James' presence for what seemed like the first time in days. She noticed that they were left alone by the other six members of what had become an impromptu friendship group. If she was going to go ahead with this, now would be the ideal time.

"Potter," she greeted, amiably. The boy smiled back at her, quickly relieving her of her heavy book bag. If there was one thing that could be said for James Potter, it was certainly that he could be thoughtful when the mood took him.

"Good lesson?" he asked, making idle small talk.

Lily shrugged in return; he had been there – he should know. "Are you common room-ing it this evening?" By which she meant were he and the boys going to be joining them for the regular study session.

"Yeah, probably," James agreed, running fingers thoughtfully through his hair. "Only if Lupin is well enough though – he's been feeling a little under the weather."

The redhead looked at his hair all standing on end and thought that it made him look so much younger. "What's been wrong with him?"

"Cuban maroon-fever," he answered. "Nasty, recurring, disease. Not contagious though!"

Lily smiled in answer, still trying to pluck up the courage to make a move, hold his hand, _say_ something, but she seemed to be wrestling her internal shy-person.

As had happened before, James brushed the back of his hand against hers, attempting to mingle their fingers. On previous occasions Lily had pulled away, finding something else for her hand to do at the _particular_ point in time, but this time she let his fingers mesh with her own and, seeing the evident surprise in his eyes, allowed him to engulf her hand completely with his.

Apparently feeling emboldened by this, he tugged her to a halt. The corridor was conveniently deserted, and he pulled her gently to him, encircling her waist with his arms.

They were eye to eye and Lily felt a little short of breath, partly because it had all happened so suddenly and she wasn't used to being this close to a person she felt she barely knew, partly because she'd never even been kissed before and she had a feeling that that might all change and also partly because James' eyes were boring into hers with such an intensity that it took all her willpower not to flinch. There was a demandingness in James' eyes, and Lily knew what he expected of her, but being physical in any way wasn't something she'd do without due reason.

He dipped his head, his mouth coming to rest gently against hers. A small, but irrepressible, part of her brain seemed to be doing a little jig – 'you've _finally_ done it, you've been kissed!' – it cried.

Lily leaned into the kiss, trying to respond to James' advances, but she felt stiff and disconnected. A warning alarm in her head went off as one of his hands wandered towards dangerous territory.

They broke apart, and the redhead felt a pang of disappointment; she had seen no fireworks, there had been no thrills, all she was left with was a slightly wet impression of James' mouth against her own.

James smiled at her encouragingly, but then didn't make eye-contact again until they reached Gryffindor Tower. He quickly released her hand once they were inside and they went to sit with the familiar group of girls and boys sprawled higgledy-piggledy about the scarlet common room.

As she sat down, she felt a sinking feeling in her stomach: something felt wrong, inside of her, she felt awkward and strange. Charlotte, Lizzy and Vi all studied Lily's face expectantly, looking for some hint of what had happened but she schooled it into blankness, knowing she'd be telling them all about it later anyway.

Babble broke out about the group, covering the initial awkwardness of her and James' return. The redhead eagerly threw herself into the pointless arguments about which Hitchcock sister Charlie Abe, a Slytherin seventh year, would eventually settle on, whether a Flobberworm would bounce or break if it was dropped off Gryffindor Tower and if Blast-Ended Skrewts could conceivably have any actual personality.

Lily met James' eyes a couple of times, and each time, questions flooded her brain. Were they together? Were they just friends? What did the kiss mean for them? She pulled a blank on each one.

After what seemed like hundreds of ridiculous mini arguments, Lily and her housemates climbed the winding stair to the dormitory. Once inside, they gathered around her, looks of concern marring their faces.

"Lilsa, you seem awfully down?" Lizzy exclaimed, giving her a tight and comforting hug.

The red-haired girl shrugged in reply.

"Things didn't go as expected with James?" the darker girl prompted, her brown eyes piercing Lily's own.

"It was okay," she started. "I mean we kissed and stuff but it wasn't anything special, I don't think I was a very good kiss."

"Don't say that!" Charlotte exclaimed sitting down beside Lily on the bed. "Practise makes perfect; you can't just assume you'll be an expert first time round."

"Yeah, it's not homework," Lizzy smiled.

Lily shook her head, "It wasn't even that… it just felt wrong. I barely know him, and he was obviously expecting a lot more of me!"

"Boys usually do," Violet nodded gravely. "Opportunists, and all that."

The redhead shrugged for what felt like the nth time, "I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens."

--

As November began to take proper root in Hogwarts, Lily met with Severus Snape in the Room of Requirement. They had met only once before, at the beginning of October, but it was not uncommon for the two secret friends to have six or seven weeks between meetings. They were secret partly because of the rivalry between their two houses but mostly because the friends that Severus had made at Hogwarts did not take kindly to muggleborns and, consequently, to blood-traitors, which was what Snape would have been seen as.

"You and Potter finally get it together at last?" Severus greeted her snidely, his black eyes glinting coldly in his pale face.

Lily perceived the jealousy in his voice and so shrugged off the comment. "Sort of," she agreed. "Nothing serious."

He scowled into her features, his voice schooled to a deadly ice-calm. "He's bad news for you Lily."

"You'd be surprised how many people have said that."

"You should listen!" his face gained a little more colour.

Studying his features, she wondered at his pointed dislike of James Potter. "Why do you hate him so much?"

"You know why," he snapped, turning away from her and walking to sit down by the fire. "Four years of being victimised by him and his little clan of arrogant idiots doesn't give me a decent reason to hate him?"

Lily sat beside him on the couch, feeling him stiffen at her nearness. "Let's change the subject," she said softly. "How are you finding the OWL Potions work?"

Severus' face remained hard as ever, but he did meet her eyes this time. "Not so bad, all elementary work that we could be well-beyond if we put more effort in."

"Do you think Professor Slughorn will pair us up for the end of year project?"

"Oh, undoubtedly." Lily and Severus were Slughorn's two most favourite fifth year potions students, and he always put them together for various projects – it was when they did their best work. Indeed, it looked likely that, come sixth year, they would both be inducted into the underground 'Slug Club'.

Severus had relaxed back into the chair beside her and Lily knew that she had been temporarily forgiven for whatever misdemeanours had or would occur with the hated James Potter.

"Chess, Sev?" she asked, moving to sit opposite him. She played white, of course.

He smirked in return, knowing immediately what opening she would play; the Queen's gambit. They had played chess for many, many years and knew each other's strategies and styles inside and out.

"Go on then," he sighed. Time with Lily was precious, it was the only time he felt he could ever let his guard down. Watching her play chess in the flickering firelight, she looked more beautiful that ever, purer than ever. Far too pure for a Slytherin who was heading towards being tainted by the darkest evil imaginable, but he consoled himself by thinking that she was also too pure for James Potter and arrogant self-righteousness.

The evening came to an end, just as they were both settling into each other's company again. Lily had beaten the Slytherin in the chess, sacrificing her queen to win the game.

Severus was always quite scathing about her happy-go-lucky approach to chess which, to his chagrin, often worked the game to her favour, the pieces sensing their players serenity did exactly as they were told; his always rebelled.

Lily gave the dark-haired boy a quick hug, leaving an imprint of red-hair and contentedness on him that he wished would stay forever. "See you soon, Severus," she whispered, already stealing her way back to Gryffindor Tower down the dark corridors.


	5. A Communication Breakdown

_A/N Thank you so much for all the reviews - you guys are stars! _

Chapter Four: A Communication Breakdown

_Home is where the heart is, but your heart had to roam;  
Drifting over bridges, never to return._

_-- Travis; Driftwood_

James watched her from across the Great Hall; studied her friends and companions carefully. She was certainly very popular with the Ravenclaw boys, but this hardly gave James a pause for thought – things would change if he pursued her.

Katie O'Donnell had been crossing James' path almost continuously for the past week, and he was beginning to think that she may be _wanting_ something. She was the year above in Ravenclaw and had a bit of a reputation, but this wouldn't stop him.

At that moment the pretty blonde caught him watching her, and threw a cheeky wink his way before entering a very hushed discussion with the two girls sitting next to her. James smirked to himself; she would be fun to get.

"You're watching that Ravenclaw again," Sirius observed, dropping into the seat on his left.

Remus sat down on his other side as Peter climbed in opposite them. "Mmm," the dark-haired boy agreed.

"What about Lily?" Peter asked, shovelling food onto his plate.

"What about her?"

The boy on his right studied him with ill-concealed disbelief. "What's happening with her?" Remus asked.

James shrugged; "We've kissed, sometimes we hold hands; it's not serious – we're not even properly together."

"Is that how she feels?"

"I don't know," James snapped. "We don't talk much okay? To be honest, after that kiss, we haven't said a great deal to each other at all."

"I was right!" Sirius announced; "The chase is, officially, the best part of a relationship."

Remus rolled his eyes, and his expression clearly said 'will they ever learn?'

James continued, "Besides, Moony, what do you want me to do? I can't break up with her because we're not together, it's much better if we could both just move on: we don't really work together anyway."

"You're just saying that," Remus observed accurately, "because you want that Katie girl, and staying with Lily means you may actually have to work at something."

James glowered into his porridge. "We're only young once right?" he grated. "Lily'll come around eventually and we can all just go back to being friends."

Remus shook his head slightly, but decided that to push the matter further would just anger his friend, so he dropped it – for the time being.

--

James spent the better part of the next week studiously avoiding Lily but trying to track down Katie, which proved to be slightly more difficult that he previously thought.

Feeling the familiar frustration, he dropped himself down into one of the Gryffindor armchairs, nearly squashing an unassuming grey cat belonging to one of the second years.

Sirius looked up as he sat down, his Charms textbook perched on his knees. James frowned at the dark circles beneath his best friend's eyes; he'd been quiet and withdrawn since the beginning of term and James had been waiting and waiting for him to tell him what was wrong, but it hadn't happened yet - that meant it was something really bad.

"You alright Padfoot?" he asked, bringing it out into the open.

"Yeah... yeah I'm fine." James narrowed his eyes at Sirius' less-than-convincing tone.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?" The messy-haired boy winced at the slightly corny line.

Sirius finally met his eyes and seemed to be sizing him up. Finally, he sighed. "Things at home are _terrible_..." he finally whispered.

James sat up slightly, Sirius couldn't give a toss about his family - they had nearly all but disowned him when he was sorted into Gryffindor and Sirius has once said that that was the best thing they'd ever done for him. "How do you mean 'terrible'? Are they threatening to kick you out or something?"

"No, I'm threatening to leave. I probably already would have done, if I had somewhere to go. They want to send us to Durmstrang; my parents think Hogwarts is far too infected and doesn't fall in with the new order."

"The new order? As in..."

"Yeah, Deatheaters, Voldemort," Sirius agreed glumly. "He's on the rise, you know, gathering followers left, right and centre. Muggleborns have already been killed, only, the Ministry has hushed it up. They're trying to keep the public safe, but all their doing is putting everyone in more danger," he finished bitterly.

"I had no idea..." James said, frowning. "What are you going to do? I mean, you're always welcome at mine if you want to leave."

Sirius studied him. "You really mean that? It's not just a friendly comment?"

"No! Of course not! You know my parents think of you as one of their own and your like a brother to me. Besides, you spend half your time there anyway; all you'd have to do is move your stuff in."

The dark-haired boy smiled a true, genuine smile, which touched all his features. "James, that would be incredible. I can disown my family before they kill me!" he said it brightly, but James knew that it wasn't an empty comment.

"Well, that's sorted then," he smiled. "I always wanted someone to fight with."

Sirius arched an eyebrow. "You fight with everyone! Speaking of which, how's your Ravenclaw search been going?"

"She's vanished," he announced, already pleased that his friend had brightened up. "Absolutely; she _clearly_ no longer exists."

"Having that much trouble eh Prongs?" his friend asked, looking back down at his Charms homework.

"What we _need_," James said, his eyes lighting up with a familiar enthusiasm, "is a map of Hogwarts that shows everyone on it; that would cure all our pranking, sneaking _and_ finding people problems. We'd never want again."

Sirius looked at him over the border of his textbook. "What, you mean a map like this?" He spun the book around so James could see a detailed floor-plan of a building with little dots poodling around it.

The dark-haired Gryffindor stared at it in interest, "Yeah that would be about right." He leaned closer, to the picture, observing how, when the dots met, they often slowed down as though having a conversation.

"It's the bottom floor of the German Ministry of Magic, charmed by Grindelwald to aid his invasion." At James' look of distaste, Sirius nodded in agreement, "Total nutter of course, but a pretty good charmer."

"Yeah… so how'd he manage it? Could we do something similar?"

Sirius turned the book back to face him, and trailed a finger idly down the centre of the page. "Well, it is has a list here of the number of charms he had to interweave to get it, but of course it doesn't say exactly how to do it. I guess because Hogwarts is a little bigger than the German Ministry, we'd need an entire blueprint of the castle, which will take a while in itself."

"What's in the list of charms?" James asked, doodling absent-mindedly on Sirius' homework parchment.

"Disillusionment, tracking, magical centring, indestructible, search and find, graphical, real-time; and a couple more that I have _no_ idea what they'd do." Sirius met James' eyes, "It wouldn't be something we could make overnight…"

"No," the other boy replied. "But think how useful it'd be; not just for, y'know, sneaking off to Hogsmeade and avoiding Filch, but we could make sure we were _never_ seen on the full moon going down to the Whomping Willow. I mean, team this map with the invisibility cloak and we'd be practically unstoppable."

Sirius nodded and James could see that he was willing to at least give it a go. "No offence though Prongs, but our charm work isn't exactly up to scratch. I mean you can transfigure _anything_, Wormtail can list every magical herb and its uses, Moony could probably tell you which Ancient Rune Merlin used to defeat Morgan le Fay and I could defend against most known hexes, but _none_ of us can Charm anything unless we really_, really _have to."

"It was a Clover Rune," Remus said, he and Peter dropping simultaneously down on either side of Sirius and James. "What do we need charmed?"

Sirius turned the book so Remus could see it. "We were thinking that since we now need to sneak out of the castle once a month, it would be a good idea."

Peter strained to see the page and grinned, "Not to mention the never-ending sweets and butterbeers we could get from Hogsmeade much easier than we do now."

The light-haired boy scanned the page, looking at all the charms. "This would take us forever to do!" he exclaimed. "We'd have to cast a number of these spells simultaneously and would need a clear visual image of the _whole_ of Hogwarts, not to mention that the charms would have to be in the right order and some would even have to be reworded to agree with the magical basis of the others."

Sirius rolled his eyes. "Always the optimist."

"But we've explored Hogwarts more than any other students, Moony, and it's not like we're stupid; I'm sure we could figure out most of these spells and even _improve_ the map that Grindelwald made. I mean, look – he hasn't even named the dots; since we're doing a search and find _and_ a tracking charm on it, I'm sure we could reword something and get them all named…"

Remus frowned, scanning the list again. "Some of these charms we'd have to ask Flitwick about; I've never even heard of a few of them. Although," his eyes lit up, "you know who would know? Lily Evans."

"Best Charms student in fifth year, maybe even the school," echoed Peter to James' dismay.

"Right," he said gruffly. "Well before we start asking Evans anything, we should get a good mental picture of the school built first." He gathered his belongings quickly and wordlessly left the common room, trying to avoid Remus' admonishing look.

Behind him, he heard Remus ask, "Why's he back to calling her Evans, now?"

Sirius smirked behind his textbook. "Probably still feeling indirectly guilty about her; you know what Prongs is like, he never _seems_ to have a conscience but I reckon he does… somewhere."

"Deep down," agreed Peter.

Remus nodded, but still didn't really look convinced. "How're things with Violet?" he asked, changing the subject.

"Well when we're together in the group she rarely talks to me unless it's to argue, insult or correct me, but aside from that, things are great; we're expecting babies."

The light-haired boy ignored his sarcasm. "Well they say that girls pick on the people they like."

"_Who_ say, Moony?" Peter asked. "Who's this _they_ you always talk about; I'm sure they never talk to me!"

"Few people do, Wormy," Sirius replied gravely, eliciting a good-natured scowl from Peter. "So you think she likes me, then?"

Remus laughed. "She probably would if it wasn't that all you ever said to her was to argue, insult or correct her. Other than that I reckon she's expecting your babies."

Sirius threw the homework that James had ruined by doodling all over at his friend's head, which Remus easily caught.

"I think he's got a point," the round-faced boy said.

Sirius harrumphed. "You think I should stop insulting her, then?"

"I think you should _extend_ your repartee."

This time, Remus had to duck the entire Charms textbook.

--

James had barely seen Lily all week; he felt bad for avoiding her, but he did so hate confrontation and he couldn't _stand_ girls crying in front of him. Not that he thought she would, but it was better to be on the safe side.

He hurried down the third floor hallway, having taken an extra-long way back from the evening Herbology class in order to avoid running into Lily. All of a sudden he saw the signature blonde hair of his elusive prey, Katie O'Donnell, coming out of the Muggle Studies classroom further down having, apparently, just gone to hand in some homework.

"O'Donnell!" he exclaimed, running to catch up.

She turned and watched his approach with an unreadable expression. "James Potter," she greeted, looking him up and down. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

James smirked; this was a game he could play well. "Fancy a chat?" he asked, gesturing to a nearby empty classroom.

She allowed him to lead her into the room, which turned out to have been the old Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom. "About anything is particular?" She ran her tongue idly over her full pink lips; this did not escape James' notice.

He felt a rise in temperature and studied her hard. "There was one thing," he started, loosening his tie slightly between his finger and thumb. He was backing her slowly up against the other side of the classroom, and she was letting him.

"And that would be?" she asked, sounding a little breathless.

"Well, I was wondering what you'd say…" He was very close now; almost close enough to touch her as she stood against the wall with nowhere to go.

"What I'd say if what?"

"…if I were to do this…" He bent his head and touched his lips to hers.

The reaction was instantaneous, she pressed herself flush against him and reached her hands up to entangle them in his hair. The kiss was intense and heady and so unbelievably different from the one he had shared with Lily, which had been awkward and quick.

Katie appeared not to care where his hands were wandering, and instead just kissed him harder, sucking sensuously on his lower lip. He breathed in her scent of honeysuckle eagerly, breaking the kiss and pressing his forehead against hers.

Her blue eyes looked questioningly into his, "I thought you were with that redhead… the Evans girl?"

He shook his head, "Just a bit of fun," James explained. "Nothing serious."

She smiled impishly back, tilting her head for another kiss, which he complied to.

James walked the blonde back to the Ravenclaw Tower slowly; they stopped in various places for highly-enjoyable sessions of tonsil-tennis.

On the seventh floor they stopped for one final liplock which lasted for awhile and James' hands achieved a good geography of the older girl's curves which made him very happy. She pulled back suddenly, having heard something. He followed her line of sight and saw a red smudge vanish quickly around a corner; Lily. He sighed heavily.

"I thought you weren't with her?" Katie asked, frowning.

James traced with his fingers where the frown lines marred her pretty face. "I'm not. It was just fun," he repeated.

"That's not what the look on her face said," the blonde replied, a slight accusation in her tone.

"I'm not playing you," he said. "I'm really not with her; never was to be honest." And he wasn't lying… not _really_.

"Fine." There was a pause while she surveyed him. "You want to come up?" she finally asked, offering to sneak him into her dormitory.

"Won't your roommates mind?" he smirked, though this was the invitation he'd been waiting for.

"They won't know," she answered honestly.

James smiled, all thoughts of Lily quickly chased from his mind. "Cool."


	6. Silence

Chapter Five: Silence

_I am human and I need to be loved,_

_Just like everybody else does._

_--TATU; How Soon is Now_

Lily gulped in big breaths of air, feeling her stomach churning and tightening. When she closed her eyes, she could see and imprint of James and Katie in their liplock, which – in her mind – seemed to go on forever.

She slumped, breathless on her bed and stared unseeingly at the scarlet drapes. What had he done? What had _she_ done? She'd made such a fool of herself.

She knew Katie O'Donnell; had even spoken to her once or twice. She'd seemed nice enough, a little conceited perhaps, but that was not uncommon with the Ravenclaws, who could come across as quite condescending at times.

Lily buried her head in her hands, feeling disbelief flood her system. How could she have been so blind? After their initial bad kiss and awkwardness, she had been starting to warm to James Potter, but then he'd gone and done this. She'd _known_ what he was like; had had countless warnings from people who cared about her, yet had still managed to get hurt… somehow. James Potter was a player; _that_ was common knowledge, no-one should ever invest their emotions in him unless they wanted their hearts broken or they were lucky enough to be in his chosen group of mischief makers. That was the strange thing; he seemed to be so loyal to his best friends and, apparently, so dismissive of everyone else.

The thing was that Potter was inimitably charming, if you lost your concentration on what he could be capable of, it was easy to fall under his spell and trust each and every word that fell from his mouth; he was an intrinsically _likeable_ person.

She knew this would happen, she thought, certainly everyone around her had done. But she had laid too much trust in her own assertion of James character and his outwardly agreeable persona. She wouldn't make the same mistake again; James Potter could have his girls and his popularity – she wanted none of it. She gritted her teeth against the flood of emotions.

The door to the dormitory banged open and her three friends entered, worried looks plastered on their faces. "Remus said you looked upset when you came in," Lizzy started, sitting gently beside Lily on the bed as though afraid she might explode. Or shatter.

"What happened Lilsa?" the blonde girl asked, looking alarmed at Lily's continued silence and her downcast expression.

"I saw him kissing Katie O'Donnell; by the Ravenclaw portrait." Lily closed her eyes, feeling her friend's looks of sympathy fall heavily on her shoulders.

"Just as you were starting to like him a bit," Lizzy shook her head.

"He's an asshole," Violet followed, "Anyone who would want that arrogant blonde whore over you is a few witches short of a coven anyway."

Lily smiled gratefully at her friends' support and derision. It was becoming harder and harder not to cry, though, and that was something she _never_ did in front of other people. Not even her friends.

"Thanks guys," she sighed, flopping on to her back and covering her face with her hands to get rid of the moisture in her eyes.

"I can't believe he'd do something like that – I mean, without even talking to you…" Charlotte blonde locks fell about in disbelief; she always wanted to find the best in people.

"He's a boy," Violet argued, her eyes flashing with ill-concealed disdain. "Since when did they put other people's feelings before their own?"

"Vi, how is it that you are the only one of us who _has_ a boyfriend and you're the one who seems to hate them the most?" Faint confusion stained Lizzy's face.

"They respond to a strong woman," the dark girl laughed.

Lily felt a smiled break her features, allowing the gentle banter of her friends wash over her.

"Hey, let's get into our pyjamas and do a first-year," Charlotte suggested.

She was referring to what they had done regularly when they were first in Hogwarts; Charlotte had missed her family desperately for a long time, Lizzy had been a little afraid of the dark and everything had still been so new and in many ways frightening to Violet and Lily who were both muggleborn, as a result, all four of them had from time to time shared a bed, taking comfort in the closeness of the other three. Since then it had only been reserved for 'special' occasions; when Violet's grandma died, when Lizzy's cat got run over and so on.

The redhead felt humbled by the tenderness her friends often showed her, and this time was no different. "That'd be nice," she smiled, hoping it would lift her abysmal mood.

"Forget about James Potter," Charlotte told her, gently sweeping the hair back off Lily's face with her fingers. "He's a pillock and not worth it." The redhead thought she detected a hint of guilt in Charlotte's tone, but that was silly because it was in no way Charlotte's fault.

Eventually all four of them were cuddled in Lily's bed – it was quite a squash since they'd all grown a bit since they were eleven, but fairly comfortable.

Lily smiled at the nearness of her three best friends, and listened to them breathing in the dark.

"Violet," she asked the pitch black, suddenly remembering something she had meant to ask her; "What's going on with you and Sirius?"

There was a loud sigh from the other end of the bed. "_Nothing_ is happening with me and Sirius Black. I have a boyfriend remember?"

"But you seem to be flirting all the time?"

"Flirting," Vi scoffed. "We insult each other continuously."

"Yes," Lizzy agreed ponderingly; "I've never felt so much sexual tension between two people who are hurling jibes about the other's lack of intelligence."

There was a muffled thump as – apparently – Violet hit Lizzy with her pillow.

"Besides I couldn't cheat on Gerard," Violet continued as though Lizzy's interruption had never happened.

Lily smirked, though they couldn't see it in the darkness. "Yeah – his side-parting might fall out of place," she teased.

Gerard's meticulously kept side-parting had been a source of hilarity for all three of Violet's friends since she had started going out with him. Charlotte snorted slightly next to her.

Unfortunately, Gerard had never endeared himself to Violet's friends because he often appeared to think very highly of himself and saw them as immature. This had always rubbed Lily up the wrong way and, as was quite rare for her, she made fun of him mercilessly whenever she could.

"Side-partings aside," Violet replied in a dignified tone, "Gerard would go ape and it wouldn't be pretty."

"Hell hath no fury like a side-parting scorned," Lizzy answered dryly and this time both Charlotte and Lily snorted with laughter and the redhead could almost _hear_ Violet's eyes rolling.

--

The next few days were difficult for Lily, though her friends never seemed to leave her side. The redhead had found that she wasn't so much hurt as shocked by what James had done, and of course her pride had been damaged. She knew that what she needed to do was just learn from her mistakes and carry on, though that was easier said than done when her 'mistake' lived in her House.

She certainly felt anger against James and vowed never to trust him again in that way, but it would be hard to avoid him forever; Remus, Sirius and Peter were spending more time with them than ever due to James' long absences – presumably to Ravenclaw Tower.

All three boys treated Lily as though she were a ticking bomb and may explode at any given moment, but with the girls by her side, she quickly settled back into the group situation and found that she was starting to get to know the boys better without James' constant presence. To her surprise, she found that Peter Pettigrew actually had quite a good sense of humour and that Sirius was in fact extremely smart when he applied himself to something.

On the rare occasions that James did join them, Lily did not meet his looks – though he tried to catch her eye more than once. Likewise, her friends also treated the messy-haired boy to a chilly reception and the group became quite awkward and divided when he was around. Remus, Sirius and Peter clearly stayed loyal to their friend, though they didn't defend him against the girls, instead choosing to sit on the proverbial fence. Though Lily was sure that if any of them had directly badmouthed James they would have been quick to leap to his defence, as it was, it was just a muttering of unrest amongst the four girls.

In the end, the thing that Lily was finding the hardest of all to come to terms with was the betrayal of the trust that she'd placed in James; the trust of a friend to look after one's interests, and the trust of a love interest to talk problems out as they arose. Certainly, loyalty was a big part of Gryffindor's house values and was held in high esteem by its members, so she reasoned that it was part of her nature to resent broken trust; to resent betrayal.

She supposed things would even out in time, she was not the type to hold grudges for ever – she would be able to forgive James sooner or later and therefore, Vi, Lizzy and Charlotte would have felt that it was acceptable for them to talk to Potter cordially without it being a sort of betrayal to Lily.

In the meantime, November sank into the cold grip of December and the trees of the Forbidden Forest stood sadly side-by-side, frequently leafless though with the odd smudge of evergreen between the boughs.

The first Quidditch match of the season had been played between Gryffindor and Hufflepuff. The Gryffindor Quidditch captain that year was a seventh year girl named Mildred Madden who played a beater alongside Sirius, James played the position of chaser flanking two sixth year boys, Ayden Sands and Rupert Downey, Lizzy played keeper and Abigail Bowles, a lithe seventh year, played seeker. The team was one of the best Gryffindor had had for years and they easily squashed Hufflepuff; 480 to 60.

Mildred was a tough talking girl with two long brown plaits that fell to her waist. The boys were often quite rude about her, since she took no slacking from the two of them and was often quite severe on their performances. However, she was a good and motivated captain for the team and drove them to succeed ('Or,' Sirius once joked, 'she might spank us with her plaits.')

With the end of term looming, Lily made a last minute decision to go home and see her family instead of staying in the castle with Violet, Charlotte and the boys. She felt that she could use a break from the continuously stressful daily life that had blossomed for her that year. She also needed to catch up on her Transfiguration work where she was falling behind – it was not one of her natural strengths – and just generally wanted peace and quiet. Not to mention time away from James Potter and his now-public relationship with Katie O'Donnell.

Lily met with Severus one last time before going home, though it wasn't a pleasant meeting. He seemed cold and distant towards her, and the redhead suspected that the members of his House who he had fallen in with were resting heavily on his mind.

Severus was an intrinsically good person, Lily knew that. He wasn't _kind_ or forgiving, but he still knew right from wrong; the recurring problem was that people tended to see the worst in him and that, therefore, _bought out_ the worst in him thereby confirming their suspicions. But she knew that if he just held on through Hogwarts, Dumbledore would see to it that he was protected from the calls of the darkness when he left; that was something she had to believe because the alternative just seemed to awful to consider. And she couldn't believe that Sev, whom she had known since she was little, could be capable of the type of atrocities that seemed to be committed almost daily by dark wizards out there.

He talked a little in their meeting about the excitement that was rippling through the Slytherin house of something dark coming, some dark rising. He didn't give any specifics and Lily could see that he knew a lot more than he was letting on but she knew that, given time, he would tell her what she needed to know to offer her own support to him.

Severus was pointedly derisive about Potter's betrayal of her and, although he didn't convey any sympathy, Lily could tell that he was angry with James and angry with her for putting herself in a position where her pride and image had been hurt by someone – in his opinion – so very worthless. The meeting ended abruptly; leaving the redhead to just hope that next time she saw him things would be a little easier between them.

And so, Lily's harrowing, hilarious and confusing term of Hogwarts drew to a close, leaving her with a heap of homework that needed to be shrunk and feather-weighted before she could so much as lift her trunk to catch the Hogwarts Express with Lizzy and make her way home for Christmas.


End file.
